Today Deirdre and I had our second korero around coaching for the PGC (professional growth cycle). The focus of this was around Coaching and Microskills for being a coach.
I have really enjoyed our korero so far, as while I have initially felt unsure about what we are going to achieve or discuss, we have been building my skills and understanding during conversations. It has felt naturally occurring rather than forced.
Deirdre has been modelling the skills through our conversations which has been great for noticing techniques once we have discussed them, and sometimes offering reasoning for why something has stood out to me before the technique has been covered.
We started off with a whakatauki "Tungia te ururoa kia tupu whakaritorito te tupu o te harakeke" — (Set fire to the overgrown bush and the new flax shoots will spring up/clear away what is bad and the good will flourish). I viewed this in our context as being about how sometimes in order to come up with new or better ways of doing things we need to start fresh or remove actions even if they were in some ways successful. I think this will be important for our growth cycles, as sometimes it is about trying something from a new perspective and letting go of preconceived ideas.
We have worked around the difference between coaching, facilitating and mentoring. It has been really interesting to explore the qualities of each and how these will apply in our context. A stand out for me was how different coaching is in a adult learning context compared to say a sporting context. With coaching in our context being more of a champion and supporter alongside someone, rather than being the "fountain of knowledge" to be followed. I am really excited that my role will being supporting others to have efficacy of their own PGC and that coaching will help me develop skills to effectively do this without taking over/ problem solving for someone (although I also know how hard it is when someone won't do this and all you want is them to solve it for you 😬).
We discussed the emotional cycle of change (the learning pit), and how this process is different for everyone. Deirdre discussed the idea of being "comfortable in the uncomfortable" which I thought was very interesting, and very relevant to what we are doing. I am not often comfortable in the uncomfortable (which to me is the unknown), and even in the lead up to these sessions I have felt apprehensive about it. This has got me thinking about how the learning pit will be in different places for everyone and how they feel and cope during it will be different. Some people are very comfortable pushing themselves, and others are not, and during the PGC there will need to be different approaches depending on how the learning pit pans out.
Some of the skills that were identified for successful coaching were centred around Inquiry and listening. These included: starting with questions, having thinking time and being okay with awkward silence, changing beliefs not ideas (helping people bring beliefs to surface to test them to encourage change), this links to getting to the root cause of the matter at hand, and lastly being able to respectfully interrupt the flow of thought, a conversation, or unhelpful subjects. From these, being confident in interrupting, and knowing what questions to ask to get to the root cause, are things that I am hoping to improve on.
The concepts of foggifying and Popcorning came up, which immediately made me think of the phrase- Garden Path sentences, where while the sentence conveys the meaning, it meanders in a way that makes it difficult for one to glean the correct meaning or may end up lost. I am still unsure whether my connection is relevant, and will be trying to explore these terms more!
When we discussed inquiry, I immediately think of an inquiry cycle and how cumbersome some of these have been made to be over the years. We discussed how how clear objectives and processes will help address some of this, as well as how using the language of inquiry will help to support it. This language is one I am not fluent in (yet) so it will take some conscious effort on my part. Another thing that also sits in here is the idea of it being okay not to know- and being comfortable in ambiguity, then working through it. Along with this we discussed the differences between being a "knower" or an "inquirer", I thought I mostly sat in the inquirer category, but a few knower tendencies also (mainly around not liking ambiguity).
We then moved on to listening, and how it is crucial for effective coaching. Some of the tools and techniques we looked at were: knowing how to respectfully interrupt to show you are listening (visual clues are not always enough), using summarising of what the other person has said to show you've heard them (but also seek clarification), and using Listen > Pause (to think, to discuss, to slow down, to enable others to come in)> Paraphrase > Inquire. I think pause and inquire will be the two steps for me to focus on the most. We also discussed how "words are not innocent" as a contrast to the saying "sticks and stones". This came from how differently something can be interpreted and responded to based on the words you use, and how wording things in a productive manner is a hugely important skill. An example Deirdre gave was "Is their value in this...." vs "I think we should...", where one encourages though around why you would do something, and the other almost takes away agency.
Another concept of listening was the Four Listening 'set asides'. These are ways the task of listening and conversing may be approached, that are not necessarily helpful for supporting someone. The four are: Judgemental listening, Autobiographical listening, Inquisitive listening and Solution listening. It was interesting how immediately I can think of conversations where I, or someone else, have done one (or more) of these, and how frustrating it can be (or how guilty I feel after the conversation). I think the two big ones for me are autobiographical, or feeling the need to share your similar experience, and Solution listening, giving advice from a "knower" perspective rather than conversing to determine what is needed/wanted by the person. We then looked at ways of listening that are productive: Attend to fully listen, paraphrase, inquiry probe for information, paraphrase, then probing for more info/then different perspectives/ then next steps. I really liked this as a clear way to engage someone in conversation and encourage them to find ways through an issue without being a solution listener. Using this will allow the person to have a sounding board, but empowers them to think for their self, but offer the opportunity to vent, get opinions or validation also. Working alongside this was using the cues for listening and observing- what would we see and hear in a conversation that show one is listening.
The key thing we kept coming back to is making sure the Purpose is clear, and linking back to this. It helps with directing your listening and responses (what/how to question). The 4 steps identified for listening were: 1. Clarifying intent, 2. Listening fully (non-judgementally), 3. Pause- reflect, 4. Paraphrase.
My next steps are to self assess my current capabilities using Book 3 of Joan Daltons Learning Talk series (Listen pg 23-25), and read book 4 pg 13-32 to build my understanding of microskills. This is working through the process of: Self assess, Read, Practice, reflect. So once I have identified some skills I should determine: What will I continue to do, stop doing and start doing. These will be the starting point of my next coaching session.
Comments
Post a Comment